


The Scars You Leave

by Lyrical_Bard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alpha Yasha, Alpha/Omega, Choking, Dreams and Nightmares, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Fist Fights, Heavy Angst, It's not a happy ending, Knotting, Mind Control, Nightmares, Omega Beau, Omega Verse, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Violence, Warning: Obann (Critical Role), Yasha has a dick, dubcon, noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrical_Bard/pseuds/Lyrical_Bard
Summary: Some time after Yasha is taken by Obann, the Nein stop in a village for a night's rest. Beau requests a room to herself and for some...paid company. The person who knocks on her door isn't who she was expecting.FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY READ THE GOD DAMN TAGSrape / omegaverse
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 9
Kudos: 53





	The Scars You Leave

**Author's Note:**

> 🚨READ THE FUCKING TAGS BEFORE PROCEEDING🚨  
> THIS STORY DEPECITS ACTS OF VIOLENCE AND RAPE/NONCON/DUBCON  
> THIS STORY DEPECITS NONCON>DUBCON>CONSENT  
> REAL LIFE SEXUAL ASSUALT AND RAPE DOES NOT WORK THIS WAY  
> YOU HAVE BEEN EXCEEDINGLY WARNED  
> PLEASE DO NOT EAT ME ALIVE IN THE COMMENTS
> 
> I made this omegaverse simply for Yasha to have a dick she could feel. If magic strapons were a thing that I thought would exist in this setting, I'd have given her that instead.
> 
> Again, please go easy on the comments, okay?

The sun was starting to set as the Mighty Nein entered the town. They’d had a rough scrap of a fight and while nothing they couldn’t handle it had still been a hard won fight. Still, it brought them a step closer to Obann. 

A step closer to Yasha. 

They had been on the road for nearly a week and after the day’s fight had decided an inn was the best way to go for the night. 

They chose a tavern with rooms and extra amenities, that Beau decided she very much wanted use. Those amenities being prostitutes. 

Fjord negotiated for the rooms and as usual, got three. While talking to bar keep, Beau pulled Jester to the side. 

“I know we always share but I could really use the room to myself for a few hours if that’s alright,” Beau requests. She really wanted the room to herself for the night but she wouldn’t be that selfish. Not to Jester. But Beau needs a distraction and a good, rough fuck would do nicely. 

Jester smiles at her. “Of course. We still need to eat, though. Are you going up now?” Jester was smirking, her grin nothing but sharp teeth. 

Beau pondered for a moment but her body was faster than her head and she was nodding before she realized she’d made up her mind. 

“May as well,” Beau replied. She watched over Jester’s shoulder as Fjord pulled away from the bar. He was handing out keys and Jester took theirs. 

“I’m gonna drop my stuff off in the room,” she said and checked the key. “Room seven,” Jester told her and skipped away towards the stairs leading to the second floor. 

Beau watched the rest of her family do the same before approaching the bar keep. “Excuse me, but I’m looking for some companionship for the evening.”

* * *

Beau eventually made her way up to her room, shooed Jester out, and collapsed on her bed. She laid there in the dim light, staring up the ceiling of the tavern for several long moments before she finally moved to tug off her monk vestments and her boots, leaving her in just her pants and breast band. She had propped her bag at the foot of her bed, her staff in the corner. She had decided to buy a bottle of wine and she uncorked that, took a swig of the dark liquid inside. It wasn’t bad, but she’d had better. 

The point though was that it could get her drunk and fast. 

But the more she drank of it, the more it soured her stomach. The wine hadn’t gone bad, just Beau’s mood. 

The Nein’s path with Obann would be crossing again soon. And with it, Yasha. Beau couldn’t help but think how that fight would go down. This fight felt inevitable and a sinking sensation found its way into Beau’s mind and she couldn’t shake the fear that, if it came down to it, one of them would die. 

Beau may be reckless but she had no death wish. But that niggling fear had wormed its way into her mind and she was having a hard time shaking it. 

So Beau takes another long drink of wine, straight from the bottle. As she pulls the bottle from her lips and swallows, there’s a knock at the door. 

Beau’s tired and she realizes this as she eyes the door. But she’s already paid and it would be a shame to waste gold and a beautiful woman so she stands, sits the bottle on the two person table that sits along the wall between the two beds and goes to the door. When she opens it, she finds her heart in her throat. 

Because standing there, taking up the entire entry way, is Yasha. 

Before Beau can speak, Yasha’s right hand shoots out from inside her shrug and grabs Beau by the throat. Beau’s hands move to grasp around Yasha’s massive wrist, trying, in vain, to remove her hand. 

Yasha pushes into the room, pushing Beau further into it as a result. With her other hand, Yasha slams shut the door. Then those cold, mismatched eyes focus on her. She tugs Beau close, bringing their faces as close as possible. 

“Hello, Beauregard.”

Yasha’s voice is flat, devoid of any emotion and Beau feels her blood run cold. How in the nine hells did Yasha make it through the tavern and up to Beau’s room without the others noticing her?

Yasha smiles, her fingers pressing into Beau’s throat a bit more firmly before Yasha shoves her back, releasing her. Beau stumbles and crashes into the table behind her. She hears the wine bottle tilt and roll from the table to the floor, shattering. 

Beau watches as Yasha reaches inside of her shrug and pulls out a small orb filled with a kind of shimmery, swirling silver liquid. Before Beau can question what it is, Yasha raises her hand and smashes it on the floor. The orb shatters and that same fluid Beau saw inside of it begins to leak across the floor. Beau watches as the liquid flows over the floor but she doesn’t feel it as it approaches and touches her bare feet. It spills past her and Yasha, creeps up the walls and the ceiling, coating the entire room in that same silver-colored solution, far more in excess than what the orb could have possibly held. Once the liquid has coated the room, it flashes briefly before seemingly vanishing. 

Beau’s eyes focus back on Yasha who rolls her shoulders and her shrug and Skingorger hits the floor. Then Yasha rushes forward, much faster than she should be able to, swinging out her arm directly at Beau’s head. 

Beau dodges, but just barely, ducking beneath Yasha’s massive arm. Beau feels as though she’s moving in slow motion, her reaction time slow and sluggish. Almost like she’s in a dream. 

Or a nightmare. 

Yasha’s knee connecting with her face causes Beau to bring her mind back to the present. She stumbles onto her ass and Yasha grabs her by her jaw with both of her hands and lifts Beau to her feet. Laughing darkly, Yasha spins and shoves Beau across the room. Beau stumbles and crashes against the door. 

She’s usually better than this but this tiny tavern room and Yasha’s large frame doesn’t a fair fight make. Beau grabs the door handle and wrenches it open. She needs to get out of here, she needs to get the others. It’s her only ch—

Yasha slams her body against the door, effectively shutting it and stares down at the monk, a wild glint in her eyes and cruel smile. 

“Going somewhere, Beauregard?”

Beau pushes away from the door and Yasha, retreating again into the tiny room. Beau can feel sweat trickling down her back as she moves into a fighting stance. 

Yasha smirks and turns to face her fully after pulling away from the door. She looks too large, Beau thinks. Was Yasha always so big?

Beau moves in, takes few shots at Yasha’s face but the barbarian brings her own arms up just as fast and easily blocks them. 

Frustrated, Beau takes a step back. She doesn’t have far to go and tries to ignore the feeling of being trapped. She takes a deep breath to settle herself and takes another fighting stance and readies a Stunning Strike. Then lunges, her right fist cocked back. 

She manages to clock Yasha in the ribs and the barbarian staggers back, taking in a deep but stuttered breath of air. Beau feels bad but feeling her own face throb from Yasha’s knee to her nose, she realizes she doesn’t feel _that_ bad. 

Beau takes a step back, braces herself then lunges at the staggered Yasha, her fist cocked back again for another hit. But Yasha turns and Beau’s fist whizzes past Yasha’s face and the barbarian brings her massive hand up to catch Beau’s wrist. Then she grabs Beau by the throat with her other hand, Beau’s uncaught hand going to Yasha’s wrist. They stare each other down in the dim light of the room, breathing hard. Then Yasha surges forward, crashing her lips roughly against Beau’s. 

All the fight leaves Beau as she freezes. Yasha is kissing her? _Yasha is kissing her_. 

What the fuck. 

Beau couldn’t deny she’d thought of kissing Yasha before. Thought of doing a lot more than just kissing. But this? This isn’t right and fear causes Beau’s skin to prickle. She breaks the kiss and tries to pull away but Yasha keeps her grip on her tight. 

“What’s wrong, Beauregard,” Yasha asks. “For all of your incessant flirting, I thought you would want this.”

“Want what,” Beau asks with a snarl. Her voice is gruff, wrecked from now Yasha is holding her. 

Yasha smirks darkly without answering and backs Beau up by her throat, picks her up and then slams her onto her back on the table. Beau huffs, air leaving her lungs as Yasha stands over her, pressing her into the table. 

Beau attempts to get her feet between them and to kick Yasha away but Yasha twists her body and forces her hips between Beau’s legs. Beau kicks anyway, her feet catching Yasha’s thighs. 

Yasha growls and tugs Beau up onto her feet then quickly spins her around and bends her over the table, her hand gripping the back of Beau’s neck roughly. 

“Fucking hold still,” Yasha snarls. 

Beau manages to raise up off the table and Yasha slams her back down, her fingers digging into the sides of Beau’s neck. Beau glares at Yasha over her shoulder, teeth bared in a snarl of her own. 

“Make me,” she ground out. Beau realized her mistake when Yasha smiled. 

“Happily.”

Beau feels Yasha’s hand at her waist, tugging at the sash around her hips. It was gone the next instant and Yasha was tugging Beau’s breeches and small clothes roughly down her thighs. The she heard the telltale sound of metal clinking as Yasha undid her own belt. 

Cold dread and panic settled in Beau’s stomach like a leaden weight. She knew Yasha was an alpha and had fantasied more than once about being in this position with her. 

But not like this. Never like this. 

Beau tried to get her arms underneath herself and push up but she felt Yasha press even harder against the bag of her neck, going as far to lean over the monk as she did so. Beau felt Yasha’s cock, already hard, poking her in the ass as she did. Beau whimpered. Not out of need, but out of fear. 

She felt Yasha’s breath huff against her ear, amused. “You should never have tempted me so, Beauregard.” 

Beau felt Yasha shift and the head of the alpha’s cock pressed against her entrance. She ground her teeth, embarrassed to realize her body was reacting to Yasha’s mere presence and felt herself dripping. She knew Yasha felt it, too. The alpha groaned, rocking her hips against Beau’s ass, sliding her dick through Beau’s wet folds, the tip of her cock nudging Beau’s clit. Beau bit her lip to keep from crying out. 

“Don’t do that,” Yasha murmured into Beau’s ear. “There’s no shame in wanting me.”

“Yasha,” Beau said softly. “Don’t. Please don’t fucking do this.” Beau could feel tears burning her eyes and she choked back a sob. 

“You should have thought of that before teasing me,” Yasha said, pulling back from Beau’s back. She took hold of her cock and lined it up with Beau’s entrance. 

Beau bucked, trying desperately to break Yasha’s hold on her. “ _Don’t!_ ”

Yasha growled and gripped Beau’s hip. “Stop!”

“Let me go,” Beau cried out. She continued to thrash but between Yasha’s body and her hold and her own clothes trapping her legs, she was well and truly stuck. 

Yasha shifted and released Beau, yanking the monk’s pants down her legs and roughly off her feet. Beau, realizing she was free, made to move but she was too slow. Yasha had quickly stood and grasped her by her neck and pressed her back into the wooden table. 

With her legs now free, Beau kicked backwards and caught Yasha’s shin. Yasha snarled, raised Beau from the table and slammed her back into it. 

The air left Beau and she saw stars as her head rattled a bit from the impact on the table. She blinked several times with a groan. Then she felt Yasha’s cock pressing into her and she froze. 

Yasha slammed her hips forward and Beau cried out. Yasha slowly pulled out and slammed forward hard again and Beau’s legs trembled beneath her. She would have fallen had she not been pinned between Yasha and the table. 

Yasha's thrusts continue, slow pull out and a harsh slam back in. Beau could feel tears running down her face and she cried out each time Yasha sank into her. Beau made no attempt to be quiet and wondered how no one was banging down the door to get to her her. 

Then her mind flashes on the orb Yasha broke, thinking maybe it was some sort of silencer, because Yasha would have known Beau wouldn’t be quiet. In fact, she not once told Beau to be so. Beau feels a wave of helplessness wash over and grips the edges of the table. 

She’s completely alone in fighting this. 

Beau grits her teeth, pushes her head into the table as it rocks beneath her due to Yasha’s thrusts. Her upper thighs hurt from being caught between the furniture and the barbarian and knows there will be bruises on her skin later.

Beau feels Yasha’s hands grip her waist tightly and leans over the monk’s back. “I want to hear you, Beauregard,” she whispers hotly into Beau’s ear. “I want to hear you call out my name.”

Beau chokes on a sob, teeth clamped so tightly her jaw begins to ache. “Yasha,” she whimpers, “Why?”

Yasha huffs an amused sound into her ear. “Did you really think I didn’t see the way you watched me,” she asked. “I know you’ve wanted me for so long.” Yasha’s hips still, but her hands are still tight at Beau’s hips. “Are you not enjoying yourself, Beauregard?”

Beau shakes her head, a sob escaping her, tears still running down her hot face.

Yasha hums then pulls away from Beau’s back. “Then I need to do a better job, it seems.” Yasha pulls back and kicks Beau’s legs further apart. Beau gasps and looks over her shoulder at Yasha as Yasha’s hips begin a slow roll into her dripping cunt. One of Yasha’s hands moves from her waist and slides over her belly and lower and Beau can’t help it as her hips buck into the barbarian’s hand as her rough fingers find her clit and begin to rub circles over it. 

Beau cries out, shame burning through her as her body reacts to the now gentle touch of the woman that has her bent over the table. She hears Yasha hum again. 

“I think you’re enjoying this more than you’re letting on,” she says smugly. She leans forward, her hips grinding into Beau’s ass as her fingers continue to roll over her clit. “You’re so fucking tight, Beauregard. And I can feel you clutching at my cock. Like you want it.”

Beau cries out, gasping as Yasha’s hips rut into her harder. She can feel herself on the brink of orgasm and does her best to stave it off. 

But, gods fucking help her, Yasha feels so fucking good. The woman knows what she’s doing and Beau hates her for it. But she can’t stop herself and she pushes up on her hands, half standing straight as Yasha thrusts into her. 

“Yasha. _Please_.”

It’s a needy sound that escapes Beau and she hears Yasha’s chuckle behind her as her fingers quicken over her clit. Beau shivers and feels herself tumbling over the edge as her orgasm crashes through her and she cries out.

Yasha continues to fuck her through it and Beau braces her weight on one hand on the table, the other quickly reaching behind her to grasp Yasha’s hip, her fingertips pressing harshly into Yasha’s ass, keeping her buried as deeply as possible inside. 

“ _Fuck fuck fuck_ ,” Beau grounds out as her body shakes beneath Yasha, her head casted down as she breathes harshly through gritted teeth. Her hips continue to buck into Yasha’s hand, chasing pleasure she doesn't want. 

Beau finally slumps onto the table, her grip on Yasha releasing as the barbarian stills her hips and pulls her hand away from between Beau’s legs. Her breathing is labored, lungs burning for air as she catches her breath. She feels Yasha’s hands along her sides and back. It’s a soothing touch and it confuses Beau, considering Yasha forced herself onto her. 

“Mm, I knew you would enjoy that,” Yasha finally says. She leans over Beau’s back again, her hand slowly traveling up past the monk’s shoulder to her hair and suddenly grips it tightly and yanks Beau’s head back. “But now it’s my turn and you weren’t nearly loud enough.”

Beau gasps as Yasha’s hand tightens in her hair, head back and throat exposed. She feels Yasha’s hips pick up a quick, hard pace and feels Yasha’s cock deep inside every time she bottoms out. 

“Gods, Yasha,” Beau says, legs trembling beneath her. “Why?”

“Because I’ve wanted you for so long,” Yasha sighs. “And because I want to make you mine.”

Suddenly Yasha’s hips slow into a gentle roll and the hand in Beau’s hair is gone. Yasha gently picks Beau up from the table, tilts her head back to look at Yasha over her shoulder. 

“Would you like that, Beauregard,” Yasha asks softly. “Would you like to be mine?”

Beau whines and she presses her hips back to meet Yasha’s thrusts. “ _Yes_ ,” she finally says. 

Yasha hums with a smile. “Fuck yeah, you would.” Yasha’s hips start another hash pace as she slams into Beau again and again. “My needy little slut, taking every ounce of come I have to give.” 

Beau moans, her eyes closing. She can feel herself tightening again, knows Yasha will push her over the edge again soon. She grips Yasha’s massive arms, nails digging into pale flesh. 

“Yasha, please,” Beau whines. She’s on fire and can’t help how she feels. How her body is reacting to Yasha. She admits to herself she’s wanted Yasha for so long. But not like this.

Never like this. 

“Good girl,” Yasha breathes into her ear. Beau moans loud and then Yasha moves her hands back to Beau’s hips and slams into her again and again, grunting with the force of it. Beau cries out each time, possibly calling Yasha’s name. She’s unsure.   
  
Beau feels, deep inside her, Yasha’s cock twitch before her inner walls are sprayed with come. She cries out and feels herself rippling around Yasha before her body locks up for a single moment before shivering as her own orgasm wracks through her again. 

“That’s it,” she hears Yasha behind her, her voice gruff as she grinds into Beau’s ass. “Milk me for everything I have. That’s it, baby.”

Beau whines, feels her inner muscles tightening around Yasha again. She can feel herself about to tip over into another orgasm when she feels Yasha’s fingers on her clit again, rubbing fast circles over her. 

Beau cries out as she tips over, her orgasms bleeding together as her hips buck into Yasha’s hand and then pressing back into her hips. 

Yasha feels so fucking good. 

Finally her tremors cease and she all but collapses onto the table, panting hard. She’s tired, can barely keep her eyes open, let alone focused. She feels Yasha pull out and groans at the loss of her despite herself. She blinks her eyes and forces herself up onto her elbows, enough to look over at Yasha, who is stripping out of her clothing. 

“We’re not done yet,” she hears Yasha say seconds before Yasha’s hands grip her hips and pulls her away from the table. 

Beau groans as she’s pulled away, her legs nearly giving out. Yasha scoops and picks her up before turning and just dropping her on the bed. 

Beau gasps as her back hits the very thin mattress. She could feel the wooden planks of the bed frame bite into her back as she landed. But her body reacts viscerally to being manhandled and bites back a moan when she notices Yasha’s hungry gaze. 

Then Yasha’s on her, crashing her lips against Beau’s, forcing her tongue into Beau’s mouth. Beau moans before she can stifle it, one hand shooting up to tangle in Yasha’s wild hair. Yasha growls and Beau tugs harshly. Yasha’s neck bends back, exposing her throat. Her mismatched eyes are dark and there’s a challenge there. 

_Do it, Lionett. I fucking dare you._

Beau pushes up with her free hand and latches her mouth to the column of Yasha’s pale throat, biting and sucking hard on flesh. 

Yasha groans, eyes fluttering shut. “There you are,” she says, sounding almost proud. Then she reaches for Beau’s breast band and rips it off, freeing small breasts. Yasha cups them, squeezing hard and Beau moans against her skin and bites down even harder. 

“Fuck, _yes_ ,” Yasha growls. She reaches up and grasps the back of Beau’s head, fingers tangling into hair that’s fallen from her topknot. 

She runs her hand back down Beau’s body and places her hand on her chest and forces Beau down into the bed. The release from her skin stings but Yasha smirks down at the monk. She forces herself between Beau’s legs, one of her own feet planted on the floor. 

Yasha glances between Beau’s legs and sees Beau’s own wetness and her come dripping from her entrance, coating her folds. Her eyes flick up to meet Beau’s and she smirks at Beau’s indignant face.

“For someone who wanted me so badly, you sure are making a mess, letting my come leak out onto the bed,” Yasha drawls. 

It’s disorienting, Yasha never sounded like this before. Now that they’re staring at each other, Beau noticed for the first time how Yasha’s eyes seem glazed over. Beau feels a bit better realizing this, that this isn’t actually Yasha hurting her. 

This isn’t Yasha _raping_ her. 

But it’s happening anyway and while Beau knows Yasha isn’t to blame (hopefully), she is the one here. Her body, anyway. But Beau is angry and scared anyway and directs it at the body hovering above her. 

“I never fucking asked for this,” Beau snarls. 

“But you wanted it anyway,” Yasha says, her hand shooting out, grasping Beau by the throat once again. She applies a little pressure and is pleased when Beau tilts her head back for better access. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Beau feels light headed as she struggles for air. She knows now Yasha won’t choke her out and she hates how her body reacts to Yasha’s hand around her neck. 

“If you’re going to fuck me,” Beau growls out, her voice gravel, “Then stop pussyfooting around and fucking do it.”

Yasha smirks, grabs Beau’s legs and throws them over her shoulders. She leans forward, near folding Beau in half, her cock pressing lightly into Beau. 

“Gladly,” Yasha says, slamming her hips forward, burying herself deep into Beau’s heat. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Beau cries out, hands shooting you above her head, gripping the low edge of a headboard. She digs her fingers into the rough wood as Yasha’s relentless hips slam into her. 

Beau feels Yasha press over her, her hips rolling up at the angle and she opens her eyes to stare up at Yasha. Yasha smiles and leans forward to kiss her, hard. 

Beau growls and presses up, biting Yasha’s bottom lip. Yasha’s hip stutters at the bite before her pace picks up again. She brings her other leg up onto the bed, adjusting both her and Beau to the center of the mattress. Beau moans at the treatment and the feel of Yasha's cock shifting inside her. She begins to cant her hips upwards, matching Yasha’s pace. 

“That’s it, baby,” Yasha said softly. “You’re still so tight around me, Beauregard. Even after coming so many times already.” Yasha presses into Beau harder for several thrusts before easing back again. “You need to come again already, don’t you?”

Beau’s hands clutched at the wood above her head as she glares angrily up at the barbarian. Then she felt Yasha’s knot swelling, slapping against her cunt with each thrust and she feels her chest ache. “ _Yes_ ,” she answered with a sigh. 

Yasha leaned back to watch herself disappear in Beau over and over again, watching her knot swell up. Her heated gaze moves back up to Beau’s face, her smile never leaving her lips. “Do you want me to tie us, Beauregard? How would that feel, hmm? Knowing you’re my bitch?”

Beau choked on gasp and felt herself growing tighter with each thrust of Yasha’s hips. She wasn’t in heat but knew she didn’t have to be to be knotted. She whined at the thought. 

“I want it,” Beau said. “I want it so bad.”

Yasha smirked and bent down to kiss her hard. Beau whimpered, her hips rolling to try and take Yasha deeper. 

“Yasha, please,” Beau cried out as the kiss broke. “I need— I need to...”

Yasha leaned back, pulling Beau’s legs off her shoulders and letting them fall around her waist. She gripped Beau’s hips, her already fast and hard pace quickening. “Do you need to come?”

“Yes,” Beau cried out. 

Yasha nodded, jutting her chin out towards Beau. “Play with you clit. Get yourself there.”

Beau felt her already heated skin flush even hotter. After a quick internal debate, she finally brought one of her hands down to her mouth, sucking on two of her fingers. Yasha groaned at the sight, pushing deeper into her. 

Beau brought her hand down, a string of spit lingering from her mouth to her fingers for a brief moment before breaking. She moved her hand lower to her clit and rolled quick circles over it. 

Yasha groaned above her again, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “Fuck. You’re so fucking tight.”

“So you keep saying,” Beau says breathless. She’s nearly there, her orgasm just out of reach. She quickens her fingers, her hips bucking beneath her hand. 

Yasha seemed to sense this and angled her hips so on each inward stroke, her cock head would press against the ridged patch of flesh inside of Beau. 

Beau gasped loudly, her fingers moving faster over her clit. She felt the tight coil beneath her navel explode and her back arched, leaving the bed and as she convulsed beneath Yasha’s massive frame. 

Beau’s tightening muscles squeezed hard around Yasha and she cried out as she followed Beau over the edge with her own climax. Her come filled Beau and Beau cried out loudly, choking on a word that may have had Yasha’s name in it. 

Beau’s body settled heavily into the mattress, breathing hard. She was so tired but as her inner walls continued to clutch around Yasha, she could tell the alpha was still hard and knew this wasn’t over yet. 

But something seemed to have changed. Beau looked up at Yasha’s face and she looked...conflicted. Her eyes seemed a bit more clear and something there on her face tugged at Beau’s heart.

Slowly, Yasha leaned over Beau, her eyes never leaving the monk's. Then she tilted her head and kissed Beau so softly she nearly cried. Beau couldn’t keep her hands from coming up and cupping Yasha’s face, fingertips lightly caressing along her jaw. 

They broke apart as softly as they had come together and Beau found herself whispering, “Keep going.”

Yasha’s eyes locked onto hers once again and she began a slow roll, gently pulling out and pushing back in. Beau’s dripping cunt ached but she spread her thighs and raised her knees further to give Yasha more room. She could feel Yasha’s knot pressing into her though not slipping in quite yet. 

Beau moved her hands from the bed and slowly trailed them down Yasha’s sides and then to her back and lower and cupped her ass. Yasha moaned and dropped her face into Beau’s neck, kissing her throat softly. Beau tilted her head back and Yasha kissed along her bared throat and under jaw. 

Yasha’s gentle roll began to pick up in pace and Yasha began to grunt into Beau’s shoulder. It wasn’t the harsh pace like it was earlier. It was still gentle but Beau could tell Yasha was close to the edge again. Yasha’s knot pressed into Beau’s opening, nearly slipping inside but not quite. 

Beau felt her own orgasm coiling within her. She was so tired and so sore but she couldn’t deny that this, a gentle Yasha, was everything she had hoped it would be. Beau just hated how it finally happened. 

Beau’s thoughts ceased when she felt harsh pressure against her cunt. Yasha was groaning and pressing her hips hard into Beau and Beau felt her knot splitting her open. 

_It fucking hurt_. Beau was slick enough but she was tender as hell, too, and Yasha didn’t seem to realize she was hurting her. But in her state, maybe Yasha didn’t care. 

“Yasha,” Beau said, an edge of pain in her voice. “It hurts. I don't think I can take it.”

Yasha groaned and pulled her hips back and Beau sighed beneath her and relaxed. 

Yasha nuzzled along Beau’s throat and shoulder and whispered, “I need...I want to—“

“I know, Yash,” Beau said softly, running her hands soothingly across Yasha’s broad back. “But you’ve really hurt me. I don’t think I can.”

“ _Please_ ,” Yasha pleaded, her hips pushing against Beau again. 

“Yasha,” Beau grunted. “I can’t. Please.”

But Yasha couldn’t, wouldn’t, listen. She pressed her hips forward, shallowing rutting into Beau’s cunt. Beau winced and tried and failed to push Yasha off of her. 

“Yasha, fucking stop!”

Beau cried out just as Yasha’s knot sank into her. Tears stung Beau’s eyes as she arched. It felt like too much, even after everything else. She blinked her eyes rapidly and her chest burned. She would not cry. Not again. Yasha didn’t care if she hurt her. Obviously. 

No. That wasn’t true. Yasha did care. But this wasn’t Yasha. This was a cruel version of her, one under Obann’s control. And there was nothing he wasn’t capable of it seemed. 

Yasha continued to rut into her and Beau grunted with a dull ache emanating from her cunt. She hated she was so close to climaxing again. Yasha seemed to be, too. 

Yasha, her face still hidden in Beau’s shoulder, shifted her weight to one hand and tucked the other between them and found Beau’s clit easily. Beau yelped at the firm pressure of Yasha’s now familiar touch, her hips seeking her touch of their own accord. 

Beau came with a scream, her nails scratching down Yasha’s back and leaving scratches so deep that Beau felt blood. 

_Good_ , was all Beau could think as her mind clouded with both pleasure and pain. 

With Beau’s inner muscles clenching around her tightly, Yasha followed Beau over the edge, shooting her come deep inside of Beau. 

Beau whimpered, her inner muscles fluttering wildly around Yasha’s cock. She wasn’t in heat but pregnancy was still a concern, even if unlikely, and hoped she hadn’t conceived. 

Beau finally relaxed, her orgasm ebbing away and her breath came out in ragged pants. Above her, Yasha was still shaking, her face still buried in Beau’s shoulder. 

It took Beau several moments to realize Yasha wasn’t shaking from her orgasm. She was crying. When she realized it, Beau finally noticed her shoulder was wet. Yasha’s arms had moved to circle around Beau’s shoulders and she was clinging to her like a life line. 

Beau closed her eyes, wrapping her own arms tightly around Yasha as conflicting thoughts and feelings swirled inside of her. 

It took a long while for Yasha’s knot to soften enough that they could untie and the barbarian sobbed through the entirety of it. When Yasha was finally able to pull out of Beau, she did so gently. And when she slid to Beau’s side to lay beside her on the bed, she could finally hear what Yasha had been muttering into her shoulder. 

“ _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._.”

Yasha was chanting it. Her eyes were red and Beau noticed they finally seemed clear of whatever control Obann had over her. 

But the damage had been done. Beau hurt, body and soul. She had been violated by someone she had come to care so deeply for and it was hard reconciling it with the fact that Yasha hadn’t actually been in control of her actions. Because Beau believed with everything in her that this hadn’t been Yasha’s idea. 

Yasha’s gentle hand caressed along her jaw and Beau turned her face to look at her. Yasha looked so distraught and Beau felt conflicted on comforting the woman after everything that had happened. 

“I am so sorry,” Yasha said. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Beau’s heart ached because she knew it to be true. She raised her hand from the bed and lightly caressed Yasha’s face with the back of her hand. 

Then Yasha’s face shifted, as if a shadow crossed over it. It was minute but Beau's keen eye caught it. Yasha’s eyes had hardened and they were cold again. 

“I’m sorry,” Yasha said again. Her voice was flat, devoid of all emotion like it had been earlier. 

Beau’s brow furrowed. Then she caught movement above her and realized Yasha’s hand had left her face and was instead stretched above her. Beau followed the line of her outstretched arm but her vision was filled with rusted red. 

Yasha was holding Skingorger and it was pointed threateningly above the monk. 

Cold dread and panic filled Beau as her eyes widened. 

“ _Yasha, wait!_ ” 

She caught Yasha’s cruel smirk out of the corner of her eye as Yasha slammed the rusted blade down. 

The room filled with the dull thud of a blade hitting the wooden floor as it pierced both flesh and cloth. 

Beau shot of her bed with a loud gasp. Her lungs burned as they froze mid-breath and she struggled to breathe. 

What seemed like years, her lungs kicked into gear and began working again. Beau choked as her lungs filled again, coughing harshly into her hand. 

A sound to her right caused Beau to stiffen. She quickly turned towards it, fist cocked back and ready to strike. She saw Jester across their shared room in Xhorhaus, shuffling around in her own bed, asleep. Beau blinked and eased her fist down. 

A dream. It had been nothing but a fucking dream. 

Beau felt her eyes burn as she relaxed, realizing she was safe and that Yasha hadn’t raped her. She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she eased back under her blanket, digging the palms of her hands into her eyes. 

Her mind was a jumbled mess as she continued to replay the nightmare in her head over and over again. 

Of course she was thinking about Yasha and getting her back. They were following in Obann’s steps and tomorrow they would confront him, and Yasha, at the Cathedral of the Dawnfather. 

Beau sighed and dropped her hands from her face. She realized just how tense she was. And, as much as she hated to admit it, how horny she also was, too. 

She swallowed thickly and turned her head to glance at Jester in the dark. Her fingers twitched beside her on the bed. She had masturbated with someone in the room before and as much as people teased her about being loud during sex, Beau knew how to be quiet.

But as her hands slipped beneath her pants and her fingers dipped between her soaking folds, shame burned through her. Not because Jester was in the room with her, but because of the dream. Beau sighed and brought her hand out from her pants and wiped her slick fingers on the cloth of them. 

Beau shuffled around in her bed, trying to get comfortable. She eventually moved to press her back against the wall and brought one of the pillows to her front, burying her face into it. She didn’t think she would be able to sleep after all of that. 

Instead she focused on Jester, counting the cleric’s breaths as her chest rose and fell. It calmed Beau’s mind and her nerves and she found herself relaxing, her eyes drooping. 

Sleep eventually found the monk, and her mind was blissfully blank of any dreams. 

**Author's Note:**

> Again, please do not flay me alive. I do have some other stories I am working on. More smut but nothing like this. See you guys soon xox
> 
> Also:  
> I have a tumblr! @lyricalporcupine
> 
> Come say hi!


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